Lesson three in finding my way back to health:
I am such a busy body. It used to be, emphasis on used to be, very difficult for me to relax when I was home. I guess it's from all my years of going from one thing to another. Growing up I was always sprinting between softball practice, private lessons, working at least two to three jobs at a time, school, studying, exercise, and my social life. Also, I was not very good at saying no.
After we got married, I felt like I had to make sure our house was "perfect" all the time. Groceries, cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying the bills, and the list goes on. How could I relax when there was dog hair all over the floor?!
Not long ago, my mom and I were talking about me as a person, my habits, and who I am. She said when people ask how I'm doing she says, "Well I never have to worry about what a hard worker she is." That statement really hit me, it gave me a sense of pride, but not the kind of pride you feel good about when you stop and think. She meant it as a huge compliment, and she does nothing but support me. But, is that really how I want someone to describe me?
It wasn't until this past summer that I really took a step back and told myself, "It's OK Stephanie. No one is judging you. Let the laundry sit for an extra day. No one else will notice those two pieces of dog hair. The pantry has been organized three times already."
I began to give myself a little grace. Instead of coming home and immediately doing a task, I would sit down and watch a TV show, read a book, and/or just be still. I would allow myself to relax. After a couple weeks, I began to feel better. Maybe there was something to this whole relaxing thing.
Soon I was feeling lighter on my feet, less stressed, and happier.
Why had I never done this before?!
Plus I was watching shows like Vampire Diaries and The Originals.... Indulging in the fiction fantasy which I love.. and I am suuuuccchhh a nerd;-) It makes me so happy.
This seems so simple and easy for someone to do, but it was a huge step for me stop and just be. It is so very important to find time and space for yourself. To meditate, pray, and relax. My brain was on overload before all of this, and I was actually having a hard time retaining important information. Now, I am back at my studying and learning. Enjoying all of it more and I am able to retain the information so much better.
As sleep is so essential for the healing and resetting of our bodies, so is a little me time for your brain. I highly suggests finding at least five to ten minutes in your day to just sit and be you. Whether you pray, meditate, journal, or be still.
Learning to just be still for a while is the third biggest change I made to find my health again. I am still not perfect, but I am trying, learning, and growing. I find it very important to find thankfulness for the hard lessons and this journey I have been on.
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